KIRA

a bad day !

2009-05-18T01:58:00.004+08:00

17may09,sun
wake up rush down to bugis to meet my dear,
though i thought that we will eat tgt but sadly, it never happened.
In the end, she took away all the food stuff to her work place to eat.
oww how to say, it's that.... so i waited for her till she ended her work.
We then went down to look for estrina at cathay,
along the way she never spoke a word to me.
We reached estrina place, had a chat with estrina for a while.
after which we went to take a bus all the way to her house,
nothing was said from her.
When it was time to get off the bus, i wanted to atleast send her to her house lift
but she didn't allow it so she just wanted me to walk her to the bustop.
Seeing her walking off with her shadow left was the last thing i saw.
I was waiting for her the whole night for her msg but none was
recieved indeed someone called earlier on whaa the tears flowed like river for me.
i am way too useless and stupid and childish, a fool,
annoying bastard and good for nothing as a b.f.
"Can i become more muscular? i too gay ,
not man, no descision,
like shadow,abit abit hurt liao.
If u fucking dont know,u financial status.
dont keep spend money,
i can't stand this kind of people,
how can i have this kind of bf sia.
and You're boring!........etc"said by diane.
which i never even realised it at all, till alot things being say by her.
from then i know how much i am so worthless in my girlfriend's eyes.
i am good for nothing to her.
AM I really that fucked up to be along with?
i will do what i can to change for the good.
i really sad about it as those words are really hurting.
i really don't know what i can do too?
i love you that is what i know, and i really want give you the best that i can.
Am I wrong? oh God help me please really.
i feel so empty, i feel cold, i feel sad as my heart like
someone is trying to use a needle to poke me over and over again.
it hard to try to get it over god help meeeeee~~~
i want to be the best for her ! i love her i do.
don't treat me this way please !
i don't wish for anything just for her to be a girlfriend of mine
will do, i don't ask for more.
GOD am i asking too much ?
HELP ME I REALLY SAD ! PLEASE !

ENDURING LOVE
To love is is to lay ourselves bare to lacerating loss.
How can we survive the gaping hole of grief?
We go beyond tears, wading through sinking-sand days,
awake through suffocating nights.
All seems absence, nothingness.
We chase a familiar head in the street
but a stranger's face turns at our hope-dashed touch.
Lilacs stir buried memories and every clock tells
"the endless time of never coming back."
To go on living seems callous,unbearable,a betrayal.
Yet incredibly, impossibly, there can be a slow awakening.
A tiny blade of grass pokes through the frozen earth.
Our love endures, connecting us like a rope of golden silk;
we no longer see the other who is holding the opposite end,
they have slipped into the next room,
but we can still send ripples of love along it and feel them return.
Slowly, for our loved one's sake, we can turn again to life and smile.

Depressed....

2009-05-16T17:20:00.003+08:00

16May'09
The title says it all. I'm extremely depressed about what's going on recently. Do i even deserve a "fuck"? I mean, definitely i'm in a wrong. But i did apologise, and does my apology seem so insignificant that i deserve such a harsh treatment?

Army is starting soon, and i'm trying all my best to take a look, just one single look, at her. But i couldn't. I felt so useless :( I'm not too sure whether is it because you were tired or the mistake that i had committed but i've tried, very very very hard.

Am i that difficult to get along? I tried to cheer you up, and i hope i did successfully. And i hope that despite all the unhappiness, you can still remember the happy times we shared together:D

Putting all the unhappy stuffs aside, i hope you're enjoying yourself right now with your friends.
Good luck for your exam(s) on monday. Jiayou & all the best.

--------------------------------------------
13May'09Wednesday
I met her for the whole day. During the night, we had ice chocolate at somewhere nearby her house. Slacked till around 9plus then i brought her back home.

THE DAY ENDED JUST LIKE THAT...........................

--------------------------------------------
14May'09Thursday
Met her at ICU building, supposedly to meet her around 2pm but she was late for about half an hour.

Aftermath, we went to bugis and shopped around for awhile then sent her off to work at around 5pm. Slacked around at MacDonald and exploited their free wi-fi. FB-ing etc. Till about 8plus pm, she had her break and we went for dinner together. Then sent her off to work again and waited for her till 11pm.

Slacked AGAIN at her void deck till about 12am then brought her up home.

AND IT ENDED AGAIN....
-------------------------------------------
15May'09Friday
Met her around afternoon and slacked around as usual. Until about 3.30pm, we cabbed down to her school and i went to my aunt's house to rest for awhile.

After that went back to her school around 6.45pm and waited for her till around 8pm. Accompanied her home to change so that we can go and have our dinner together nearby her house.

Went to the playground and unfortunate events started to unfold.... (refer to firsty paragraph) But i hope i need not explain any further.

Life is just one damned thing after another

2009-05-13T16:38:00.005+08:00

not our cake haha( is for eunice)

with MELINDA on sat

2009-05-13T15:57:00.003+08:00

Friday - meet my dear at her house at 130pm,
which she late, come back from school so waited
20min and so here come 150pm then up to her
330pm out to her school she went for her cca
and i went to TM to shop around later on
went fatch her and so waited 1hr outside her school bustop,
last we go eat then home.

SAT - meet dear after her celebrate
with her friend birthday
( HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELINDA)
and then dear come my house to kill time
around 830pm went to hougang point to
buy some food to eat and so on i send
my dear home and i go home :),
after home dye my hair colour
and it come out i look like 1 monster,:(
hahah and early on alot picture taken
will upload soon once i have it.

SUN - BABY have work from 11-4
so i went down to eat lunch with her
1st she see me she don't like my hair colour
becouse i really look like a monster haha,
thinking what to cake to buy for
her friend this time is
(EUNICE BIRTHDAY) on monday,
so at 11+PM we will give a surprize.
after dear end work send her home.
and i went to aunt house to have
mother days dinner,
same goes for dear after we done i meet her at
her house downstair and we go for our misson.

MONDAY -have work and dear phone low batt...
and after i end work went to find my frined longji
to collect my 2 slice of cake which is specialy make for
my dear, and so went to dear place to
pass her around 7+pm and
we meet awhile as she was tired from school
and so home sweet home.
and went home dye my hair colour again.

TUESDAY - nothing much WORK , home =end aday.

"THE THING WE DO FOR LOVE"
There is no greater inspiration than love.
For love, we promise perilous things.
For love, we achieve them.
Love strerches us to our full potential
and coaxes us out of our comfort zone.
we dare to do dangerous,
attempt the imposible,defly the odds,
cross the deserts. we roller coaster side by side
on a white-knuckle ride from
the subline to the ridiculous.
We skydive together holding hands,
spread-eagled amid the clouds,
careless of where the currents carry us.
Love makes us megawatt, turbo-charged,
jet-propelled.
We risk everything for love,
for nothing else matters.

Waiting

2009-05-07T18:48:00.001+08:00

Whoss at bugis waiting my dear
to hve dinner Tgt , haha
really nothing to do at here,
So went to National library
and read book.
In my life I never like reading
but after I know my dear
I begin to read more haha
yea now adays will
read more often books,
and now I am stoning
outside MAC of bugis.

Love is in the air.
It surrounds us in a million songs,
flims, pictures,and books.
But we never run out of
fresh thing to say about it,
new ways to celebrate and
express it. Love is an engina
with endless variations.

Everyone is created or love.
Everyone is loveable.
Experiencing love, giving
and receiving love,
and sustaining love are
central to our existence.
And love is the greater
influence on who we are,
defining our identity.

back to blog

2009-05-06T15:52:00.000+08:00

So long have not been updating bout my life
let's make it short over the pass few month,
work,play,sleep,waste time and
spending time with my girlfriend.
soon going in army "GUARDS"units.
wish me good luck on friday for BTT.
current what i am doing is like "nothing"
today had very werid feeling and
i miss my dear alot.
that i have abit desperate in
like smsing my girlfriend,
i guess she really busy .....

What else is love but understanding and
rejoicing in the fact that another person lives,
acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?